Jasmine Soh's life

2006-06-20T11:04:00.000+08:00

I'm going back to malaysia now... My mom is sick and i have the responsibility to bring her go and see doctor.
Dear God, I pray that my mom will be alright, hope your healing hands will touch upon her. I m very worry about her so God, pls take away all of my worries and my troubles.
At this moment, i need a quiet place to quiet myself....
Pls stay close beside me as i know i have no one but U.

Love u ,
Jas.

I gotta go now.. bye !

2006-05-26T20:13:00.000+08:00

Suffering of the gastric pain nowadays.. sigh. What a tragedy ! Wednesday finished the class kinda late, it was about 11.30pm and i reached at home alomst 12.45am. Gastric pain suddenly came to me when i reached at MRT station.. sigh...what happend to me? I almost fainted when i reached at the control station, luckily i still have a little bit energy to bear with me. My gosh... then the smrt officer came to me and asked me whether okay or not... haiz... i am so useless and helpess. I don't know how to take care of myself..
I know i need to take care of myself as i have nobody to take care of me. I know i need to have the proper meal. I know, i know , i know., but :
When the exam coming soon, and you have been studying hard to achieve the prize winner for some reasons then u will not care about the health.
When the wallet left not much money then you will tell yourself : i think i better eat bread today.
When there is no one will accompany you to have the meal, then you will tell yourself : Let me to eat instant noodles.
It comes to the end, when the gastric pain come to u then u will says : " i have no appetite to eat any foods.
Conclusion : when all these happend again and again then i think i will die earlier and die of LACKING NUTRITION. !!

2006-05-23T13:31:00.000+08:00

Big walk 10km ! Oh well, i finished 10km big walk and the next gonna be the " ShapeRun 2006 - 5Km" and i am joining. But i have yet to register. Never mind the closing date will be on 31 June. which mean that i still have another one month to register it... take my time. Don't worry.
Alright, u asked me how;s the big walk. I would said that it was a good walk but i am not really enjoyed as that's too much people, almost 10,000 people loh. Have to squeeze here and there.... :(. Some more i was injured my right foot on the saturday night while playing the captain ball. Woeeeww...... captain ball game was fun. Looking forward for next month's social games night :)

Okay, after the big walk, i just following some of them went to suntec city to have lunch loh.... another small walk...sigh..my left leg was so pain. I am so depress + fed up. After finished the lunch, christon, brian, ya hui and me took the train back home. I was so tired therefore after the shower i dun even care to wait for my hair to dry so i straight away lying on my bed and soon after i was fallen asleep.
When i wake up was already 8pm and my stomach not feeling well. At first i thought i was too hungry so i quickly to have some hot drink and it did helps for a while. About half and hrs later, my stomach pain again, and u know what, i though is stomach cramp but it's not. It was my gastric pain, My gosh..... i already finished my gastric medicine and by that time, the clinic already closed. I was so painful and in agony. i have no choice so i called pik yee for help. After 15 mins , pastor and her sent the medicine for me.... i feeling that i am so useless as i have been staying alone for almost half a year still don't know how to take care of myself.
I hate the feeling of sickness. Extremely hate it. I will cry when everytime i sick as it let me to remember my mom. Everybody needs care and love when they are feeling sick. But right now , there is nobody will take care of me if i falling sick, i have to depend and take care myself ..........soooo...... i can't sick ...

2006-05-19T15:26:00.000+08:00

There is a love which i lost for many years,
Now i found it.
You've come into my Life and give me love.
I feel being loved and cared suddenly,
I'm just wondering how long is this love will last?

You bought me a " Hottie"
You bought me the "Wheat Bix, Oat and other groceries"
And you keep reminding me to take my breakfast and lunch.

You're showing the love like my mom.
And this is how you care for me !

You're feeling moody,
And keep i asking you the reason,
but you ignored me,
I am feeling upset,
My heart are not only shattering into pieces but also bleeding,
As you have echoes the episode from the past in my life.
I couldn't sleep for a night,
My tears have come to me again.
I couldn't control my emotion.
Hence, i hiding myself in the room and keep myself isolated.
I wanted to tell you my feeling and my thinking,
But you're so busy and busy.

I am praying and praying,
Ask the God to keep me strong,
suddenly, i heard this :
Only the strong can endure their shattering; the weak need their defenses.

Am i really not strong enough?
But I did kept myself strong thoughout all these years.
And all the people said " I am strong. "

Then you replied me :
" Jas, you're not strong. You looks strong in front of the people that's because u afraid of shame.
Indeed, you are weak and you need me. Come, cast all of your worries and the fears for me,
I will take care all of it."
My tears have flowing like a river.
I know you love me, God.
But how i wish that i can see you and touch you.

You know i long for the love and yet afraid of losing it.
I just don't wish the painful episode will echoe again.
As my heart already shattered into pieces.................

2006-05-14T16:02:00.000+08:00

I am so tired + bad mood today. Just came back from YA's dinner at Vil'age restaurant. It's located at china square centre lah. Haiz.... damn busy. Thursday when i finished cell group, Qin and me stay over at pik yee's house. Then on the friday morning, Qin, Pik yee and me are supposedly to go market to buy some stuff for friday's parents day but Qin was wake up early so she went to market in the very early morning. therefore i went to market with pik yee. That was a really busy day. Pik yee got to work on morning ( even though is holiday still got to work for half day) haiz...pik yee has been working too hard and she is damn busy. After she finishing her work on friday then she still had a lunch with her nurses so i was alone at her house to waiting for her and pastor to come back.
They came back around 4pm then me and pik yee went to cold storage to buy some others stuff for the parents' day again. After that went to YWC to get sth then straight away go to church. She didn't rest for a whole until and she was busy from morning until night about 10.00pm. Haiz... why she wanna work so hard.
Hmm....she was very very bad mood in the afternoon time. I don't know what happend to her then i keeping her about the reason i think she will feel very troubled. This is my first to see pik yee so unhappy. I felt very upset , i don't what to do. I couldn't sleep for a night, i know that i didn't done anything wrong but the feeling and the tears have unconsciously come to me. she didn't join us for the dinner and i was sms to her when i saw her so stressed up. Then she replied that : " she just feeling tired and need a break". Deep inside my heart, she really been working too hard, and indeed she need a break.
Haiz.... somethings was really bother me nowadays. Pik Yee has come into my life. i was feeling scared of losing this kinda love again. Maybe becuase of the past experiences that i have so that i am more greedy and selfish for the love that i received. Oh God, i just want the person that i love to be happy forever and if they happy then i am the happiest.. I hope she is okay now.

2006-05-05T16:09:00.000+08:00

Look at this Hottie. Pik Yee bought for me yesterday :). Isn't it sweet ? We gals went to Raffles city for celebrating Elaine's birthday

what is forgiveness?

2006-04-23T18:44:00.000+08:00

What is forgiveness?
My heart wants to know,
Does it come all at once,
Or does it slowly grow?

It can come in all forms
From the intense to the soft,
And already you've pardoned
More often than not

I say 'I don't" care
to me no difference it makes
yet i am so angry
And how my heart aches.

we feel hate and anger
Which are love's flip side,
When we hurt the most,
they mask love deep inside.

But the anger I feel,
Is so deep in my heart,
And i fear that without it,
I'd just all apart.

Child, you need to let go,
Let the Lord do his part,
He can then take away,
All the pain in your heart.

Well, I'm tired of anger,
I'm weary from hate,
I want to forgive now,
before it's too late.

I know it feels scary,
to let anger go,
what will come in its place?
Soon you will know.

Where once i felt hate,
Again i feel love,
this new peace drifted in,
On the wing of a dove.

Forgivenss will happen,
When we learn to let go,
Then the love in our hearts,
Will be whiter than snow.

2006-03-03T23:40:00.001+08:00

Yep, that's my life...

2006-03-03T23:40:00.000+08:00

okay, look at this. This use to be my diary. i designed it by myself. Inside have lotsa memories in the past. Joy, upset, troubles, angry...so much, so much..

2006-03-03T23:38:00.000+08:00

here we go, another one, Cute right?

2006-03-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

Look at this small areoplan. That's the gift from Debbie and Kim. Thank you gals :)

2006-03-02T11:43:00.000+08:00

Broken homeAll alone
Broken homeAll alone
I can't seem to fight these feelings
I'm caught in the middle of this
My wounds are not healing
I'm stuck in between my parents
I wish I had someone to talk toSomeone to
I could confide in
I just wanna know the truth
I just wanna know the truth

Want to know the truth
Broken home All alone
I know my mother loves me
But does my father even care
If I'm sad or angry
You were never ever there
When I needed you
I hope you regret what you did
I think I know the truth
Your father did the same to you
Did the same to you
'm crying day and night now
What is wrong with me
I cannot fight now
I feel like a weak link
Crying day and night now
What is wrong with me
I cannot fight nowI fee
l like a weak link A weak link

Broken homeAll alone
It feels bad to be alone
Crying by yourself, living in a broken home
How could I tell it so all y'all could feel it
Depression strikes hard just like my old earth would tell it
To me, her daugther, she told me
I'm the onePain bottled up about to blow like a gunStories that
I tell are nonfictionAnd you can't take it back cause it's already done

BROKEN HOME
BROKEN HOME

Can't seem to fight these feelings
Caught in the middle of this
My wounds are not healing
Stuck in between my parents

BROKEN HOME
BROKEN HOME

2006-03-01T13:56:00.000+08:00

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.I guess it's time
I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

2006-02-23T14:41:00.001+08:00

oh well, another pic of my violin, i've been learning hard to play the song " Minuet" by L.Boccherine. It's kinda difficult but my teacher said i am playing well. hee hee :) Gotta practise hard somemore ..

2006-02-23T14:41:00.000+08:00

my lover violin..i love to play it especially when i'm getting stress up. nowadays because of my upcoming test it has make it very very stress up. U have always there for me and i love u so much..

My New Handphone...

2006-02-17T15:47:00.001+08:00

This is my new moblie phone....this moblie phone is suck. Cool....i like it so much, it camera funtional is very clear....hahaah...Due to valentine promotion plus my 2 years contract with singtel plus i trade in my old samsung hp. Wow.... it only cost me $328 dollars, what a resonable price. Look at it funtion ...COOL

General
Network
UMTS / GSM 900 / GSM 1800 / GSM 1900
Announced
2Q, 2005
Status
Available
Size
Dimensions
108.8 x 53 x 21.8 mm, 95.9 cc
Weight
126 g
Display
Type
TFT, 256K colors
Size
176 x 208 pixels, 35 x 41 mm

- Five-way scroll key- Downloadable themes
Ringtones
Type
Polyphonic (64 channels), Monophonic, MP3, True Tones
Customization
Download, order now
Vibration
Yes
Memory
Phonebook
Yes
Call records
Yes
Card slot
RS-DV-MMC, 64 MB card included, hotswap

- 35 MB shared memory for applications, SMS, MMS, ringtones
Data
GPRS
Class 10 (4+1/3+2 slots), 32 - 48 kbps
HSCSD
No
EDGE
Class 10, 236.8 kbps
3G
Yes, 384 kbps
WLAN
No
Bluetooth
Yes, v2.0
Infrared port
No
USB
Yes, Pop-Port
Features
OS
Symbian OS 8.1a , Series 60 UI
Messaging
SMS, MMS, EMail, Instant Messaging
Browser
WAP 2.0/xHTML, HTML
Games
Yes + Java downloadable, order now
Colors

Camera
2 MP, 1600x1200 pixels, video, flash; secondary video call VGA camera

- Push to talk- Java MIDP 2.0- Video calling and download- MP3/AAC/MPEG4 player- FM Radio- T9- Voice command/memo- PIM including calendar, to-do list and printing- Integrated handsfree
Battery

Standard battery, Li-Ion (BL-5C) 970 mAh
Stand-by
Up to 265 h
Talk time
Up to 3 h 30 min

2006-02-11T22:21:00.000+08:00

file://mydocument/mypicture/photo

A tough time to overcome.

2006-02-11T21:13:00.000+08:00

I'm very upset because WL is leaving..she is really leaving. The person who is always take care and listen to me. i just can't use to the life which without her in singapore. I know i need to be more stronger when she is not around but my mind are not listening to me as it almost everyday poping out those are the sweet memories that we had last time, those are the fun time...it's really unforgetable.
I have a hard time to sleep nowadays as every night when i going to my bed , her image will automatically appear in my mind and my tear will start droping. I'm really miss u , sister.
All of my friends know that she is my closest friend. But they probably don't know that she is the one who let me experienced the "true friendship". I really appreciate and treasure it.
Today is the first Sabbath which without her along. Feelling like a bit weird. I know i will get it over soon but i just need time. Sigh......i know i m not alone here as there are so many people still care for me but i just can't open myself to them.
God, pls help me. Help me to find back myself ...help me to learn to be more stronger. Help me have a good sleep every night.
Think this is gonna be the most harder time to overcome in my life...........

2006-01-15T00:54:00.001+08:00

the snow man on the chirstmas

2006-01-15T00:54:00.000+08:00

chit, truddy and me

I just want a happy family

2006-01-10T21:57:00.000+08:00

I just want a happy family, isn't it very difficult?
I went back to my hometown today for helping my mom to clean up the house and accompanied her bought the CNY goodies. I went back together with my elder sister and her bf. Every time i long for going back but i doesn't have free time to go back but today have a holiday for me to go back but i'm feeling dun wanna go back. I duuno why i have such a feeling until i came from hometown i just get to know the answer.
For those ppl who are very close with me surely knew that i'm came from a broken family. It is never easy for me to overcome it. Today i just reliazed that they are staying together but they live alone. I'm kinda disappointed when i know about it. I remembered what Richard always told me. He said that he is staying together with his grandparents but he live alone. At first, i couldn't understand what his mean but until today i'm fully understand what he is talking about. I hate this, extremely hate it. I would rather them divorce than staying together but live alone. I thought i already overcame it and thought all these already over but it seems like will never ever have an ending. And i dunno when is the ending . I'm very upset, really very upset. i look out into the world and wonder why it has dealt me a cruel card in life. "Why me?
My colleague always asking me, if tomorrow is gonna be my last day, what is my wish for this last day. And i always tell them that i wish to have a happy family. Seriously, I will be contented if i have it.

2005-12-19T23:50:00.000+08:00

yeah....happy Dinner.

2005-12-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

he like the Turkish tea so much. Next time should find for him a turkish wife than can let her to make tea for u everyday, yah?

2005-12-19T23:48:00.000+08:00

see what he's doing? Green chilli...

2005-12-19T23:47:00.000+08:00

Joel and Shaun is kinda suprise of the food that we took ..heeehee,

FUN Dinner

2005-12-19T23:25:00.000+08:00

What a busy life! I'm damn busy nowadays as went to batam for church camp on the begining of the month after that busy with my work and recently busy with the christmas celebration at my church. I will be playing the violin together with our EP150 and also joining the carolling group loh.... i like carolling and just nice that our church have it this year so i wanted to grap this chance to share the msg to ppl. Yeah.....oh well, will be going to the JYM retreat after the chirstmas, uh huh,....quite busy man

Erhmm....yesterday after the meeting at YWC , i went for dinner togther with two little brothers (Shaun and Joel ) and WL, We went to Turkish restaurant at the far east plaza. I was kinda late as the meeting was finished quite late so i reach there was abt 8pm loh..they all still waiting for me to oder the dishes loh....anyway the food is nice and especially ice -cream. 4 of us went for odering the ice cream and when each time we oder the ice cream the person who are selling the ice cream are playing the ice cream with us loh..is like when he was abt to give us the ice - cream and we though that we almost holding the ice -cream corn but after we holding it we just realised that only the ice-cream corn without ice-cream on the top...oh wow....it's damn fun ( 4 of us keep laughing and laughing ) .

That was a Fun Dinner and i enjoyed it.

I'm really Upset

2005-11-28T20:46:00.000+08:00

current mood : upset + lonely + angry+ frustrated .....

Too much things happened. I'm really upset right now as wee leng already moved to her new house yesterday and i will be staying alone at here in next few months...sigh.. i extremely hate this feeling. I missed the time we staying together. We cooked together, eat together, do houseworks together, shared together, encouraged each others...i will miss it all the time.
Remember at that time when i was taking my IELTS that day....she woke up very early in the morning and i am kinda curious and wonder : why she woke up so early. BUt after that when i stepped in to the kitchen, i saw her was preparing the breakfast for me...u know at the time i was so touching and almost tear drop.... it was 5.30pm in the early morning. In this world, besides my mom that's no one else can sacrifice his/her own sleeping time to prepare the breakfast for me. She is the second in my life. I will never ever forget it .....never.......
Come to think of it, we only staying together 5 mths and it's really short. Don't think so i am being a good sister during this 5 mths ..sigh...i feel very guilty and sorry about it. I'm now really hate to go back as it's really quiet at the house. I'm really can't use to it and also very jealous all the people who can stay together with their family....
Yesterday when i passed by her previous room. My tears start dropping as the room become empty and quiet. i remember how messy is her table and with an old old fan and a sunflower cutie pillow, it's really cute ......anyway, i won't be able to see that again.
Will always miss it...........I WILL ALWAYS MISS THE TIME THAT WE HAD. !!!

this is another thing make me very upset too. Tomorrow is one of my colleague's last day working in JHTS. Our 5 masterpieces going to seperate.....really feeling upset. We all have the good time in JHTS and now one by one going to leave that company. I think i will be leaving soon too. We have a meeting today and i was really very angry during the meeting. The president is bloody irritating and she is an unreasonable person. Always like to shout at people, scold people with "idot lah, stupid lah, or blah blah blah'" so many dirty words are saying out from her mouth, I am really can't imagine she is a president. (A head of a listed company) U know what...today meeting is something regarding about the flow of the SAP of the motorola. ( Motorola use to be the bigger vendor in our co. ) Then all the people who are involve with the SAP flow should try their best to finish their part. Well, that's what we are doing right now loh.....but some of the dept they are not trying thier best to do thier part and when the problems come out they just push push push to the other dept. Then my president take out the new oder : if the problem can't slove on time then all the people ( which is involve in the MOT's SAP flow ) salary will be freezed until all the prolems be sloved. THat's really unfair.....i was so angry when i first listen to this oder. What a shit lah...ARGHHHHH......She doesn't understand how big is the impact for those people who really try their best to done all their part . SHe always dun care our staff's feeling. ONly know how to scold people....don;t appreciate our effort......i am going to quit this job after Dec as i really don;t like to work with this kinda person.
I wanna sreammmmmmmmmm

2005-11-09T21:23:00.000+08:00

Wee Leng's brithday

2005-11-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

Group picture...

2005-11-09T21:21:00.000+08:00

East Coast Park ( WL and Me )

The Road to achieve my Goal

2005-10-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

I know it's not easy and i know i may be lost a lot of things at the end...but what are they?
what things are belongs to me ? i have nothing ..nothing....
I decided to walk on this road and i know i may fall down many times along the way but never mind i can stand up once again to walk towards the goal..... maybe the end i will carry the tiring body and stand in front of u ...
But i already decided.. no matter at the end is win or loss..this is my decision. no matter how tough is the road , i will walk to the end as i already decided.
I'm tiring to deal with the people sorrounding me..... very tired..... and i have to give up if i choose to walk this road.....therefore all of them are become the passengers in my life.
This is my goal and my target ........ i know may be at the end i may even lost myself but i can't fall back and i can't stop as i already step out....
I dun know my future and i can't predict it but i will finish this road no matter how tough it is as i already step out ......

HE and SHE teardrop part 2

2005-10-12T21:38:00.000+08:00

This is the last story....it won't be further in the future.

Two tear drops were floating down the river.
One teardrop said to the other,"i'm the teardrop of a girl who likes a nice guy but can’t be together with him … . who are you?"
The other teardrop replied : "i'm the teardrop of the man who met a nice girl but can't be together with her too...."

She tear drop consoled, "there would come a time when we have to stop loving someone because we found out that we are really impossible to be together.....""

He teardrop replied, "But then you'll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that person, your heart breaks into piece sand just a quick 'Hello' from that person brings the broken pieces back..."

She teardrop said, "it's really painful to say goodbye to someone else that you don't want to let go; but it's even more painful to ask someone to stay if you knew that he already met another nice girl in his life. she continued, "LOVE? it's kind of complicated, but i'll tell you this... the second you're willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, that's love right there...."

He teardrop pondered and said, "you know, if I had the letters "HRT", i can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U" and get "HURT". Then the she teardrop quickly answer he teardrop : “I would rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U" then she teardrop continued smiled and replied, "giving someone all your love is not an assurance that he will love you back. don't expect love in return, it’s always wrong when you love the person who already met another nice girl in his life and even step into their life…so wait the love to grow in his heart, if it doesn't, be contented it grows in yours."

He teardrop continued, "she told me once, do not be too good, i will miss you. don't be too caring; I might like you. don't be too sweet; i might fall for you." he teardrop said again : "you are brave she teardrop, now i know it's always better to have found the courage to love even if you lose it in the end rather than never found love because you were too afraid of the challenge.

She teardrop really wish that the nice guy really be nice to the girl that he likes (which is his gf ) in his life and they have a happy relationship in the future as she teardrop believe he will..
The story was ended when the guy went to overseas and everything is over. She teardrop decided to give up as she knew that it's really impossible for him to be her bf........and time will heal everything and it will get over soon.

2005-10-01T01:44:00.000+08:00

This is Christina and Me..OHhh..though we're holding the beer......erhmm...i must confess that i've drank a little bit lah...but dun misunderstanding yoo, i didn't drink that much of the beer which the cup that i holding.

DANCING ROX =XD

2005-10-01T00:30:00.000+08:00

Ok people, today i'm really happy but have a bit tired lah...hahaaa
Morning, i went to the RELC for my second part of the IELTS exam..oh man, what the hell is, i'm not really like that examiner loh, she is !&#^&^!$$*(&*(..crazy man. My exam time supposingly is on 10.40am but because of that examiner so it almost delayed to 11.30am. i am so angry about it ( ask all the candidates sharp to report the to time that they are given to us but at the end was ask all of us waiting for a long long time) shit man... okies, even though i dun like u but i still have to proceed for the exam loh.

Wooohouuuuu...Finished my exams !!!
I went to the German Food festa at Swiss club just now with my buddy. Actually we got the ticket from our president and these tickets were from the charity so there have 50 tickets to distribute for all the stuff. I didn't go to work since wed as i;m talking my exams but my buddy still reserve the ticket for me loh.......THANK YOU BUDDY..U're my best buddy..<3 you..Muak muak muak .
I really enjoyed the party loh.. at first, i met all the buddies at JE mrt then we went to Joyce's place to get the car and u buddy really extremely makeover...hahaaa. After taking the car, joyce drove us there. Wow...that's lotsa ppl there and the foods are extremely NICE & delicious, i like it !!! Especially the german rye bread...it's really yummy !! Erhmm....of course not forgeting the german beer mugs, ppl at there drink the beer like drink the water...crazy man.
Haaahaa...after having the dinner, we all went up to the stage there and dance. First time saw joyce dance loh,.u really goood in dancing. Then have this person who was supposingly playing the trumpet at the band came down from the stage to teach us dance. DANCING ROXX =XD . Then i was sitting at there and this german guy very quickly to hold my hand and want me to dance with him. OH my goshhhhh....i don't know how to dance lehhhh....so i just anyhow to dance with him loh..Craxyyyy.=XD I'm crazy dancing...and i sweating alot =LOL= But i love dancing lah.. He is really good in dancing lohhh...

I LOVE GERMAN FOODFEST
I LOVE DANCING
I LOVE RYE BREAD
I LOVE GERMAN XXXX
I LOVE GERMANY

LOOKING FORWARD to another GERMAN FOODFESTA ! ROXXX ==XXDD

2005-09-29T16:37:00.000+08:00

Dear heavenly Father,

I already try my best for today's paper, I know you've grant me calmness, peaceful and wisdom. But Lord, now is the time for me to cast all the worries for you. You know my heart, my desire, my situation and you know every single thing about me, I know that u've planned out the way that u want me to go, please continue to be with me as you know i can't do everything without you.
I pray for tomorrow's paper, pls stay close beside me, be my comfort, guide me through and continue to grant me wisdom so that i can do well in my exam and to glorify your name.
May your Love and grace abide me. Thank you Jesus.

Love you, Jas.

Amen

I'm so sorry , God.

2005-09-24T19:07:00.000+08:00

I didn't go to cell group yesterday, i felt very upset and guilty for that as i'm staying at home and studying for my IELTS exams. As usual i came back from work and then had my dinner. After that i started to study... while i'm studying i heard Jeff's loud laughter therefore i opened the window, i saw all the YA having the cell group at the place which is some where nearby carpark. I was wondering why they're having the cell at there...and at that moment i'm feeling very guilty as the cell group supposingly will be held at my place but because of me so they changed the venue at social hall. Yet, none of them have the key of the social hall and WL ended her work very late so they started the cell group there.
I didn't study for my IELTS for two weeks as i had an operation for my wisdom teeth and i've not spirit and energy to study during the Op time, i'm just feeling very weak and even though my heart always prompted me to study but i can't .... i already wasted two weeks time and i've no much time now.....exams is on next Thursday. Arghhh....I'M REALLY STRESSED UPPPPPPPP
My work really made me going to crazy....my stupid accountant always changed our jobscope and he don't even care whether we can't handle it or not...he just wanna do his way. He want me to pass my work to another new gal and took over more heavier jobscope.... i don't even have the chance to reject him. I'm now have to finish my work before 5.30pm everyday as i gotta go back early and study but it seems like is impossible as my work will never ever finish. But i don't care even though they're unhappy...i almost go back 5.30pm everyday...

I know i shouldn't study during the Sabbath and i know Sabbath is the day for us to spend time together with God but yet i'm staying home for studying my IELTS exam. I know i've done wrong, i know.......but God I'm sorry this time. I'm really sorry...i don't mean wanna do it but i've no choice. i just wish that i have a secure life at here....

Boon approach me this morning and ask me why never answer his call. Actually i turned my phone to silent mode while i'm studying yesterday and it was too late when i reliased that he and Jeff did gave me a call. I explained to him why i didn't answer his phone yesterday and told him that i was staying at home and studying, then his response was : "IS YOUR STUDIES IMPORTANT OR CELL GROUP IMPORTANT" after that he walked away.. i know what he mean and it really made me feeling upset and guilty. I know for you guys cell group is more important because u guys already finished your studies and we're living at the different situation. Nobody will understand what kinda life that i having right now. No one will ever understand..........
Afternoon, after having our lunch ... Qin, WL and me chit-chatting at the corner which nearby the public phone. Boon came over and said : " The person who didn't come to church is our enemy" . It goes without saying that it's pointed at me, i know he just kidding with me and he doesn't have that mean. But i can't control my tear....i finally tear drop. I'm not angry with what he said, i just angry myself and i'm really feeling upset for the thing that i've done wrong.

SORRY GOD, I AM REALLY SORRY FOR THE THINGS THAT I'VE DONE WRONG. PLS FORGIVE ME, GOD.

2005-09-20T19:52:00.000+08:00

this is wee leng and me, We celebrated my b'day at our house! Thanks sister.

Exams coming soon

2005-09-20T19:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went for dentist again, Finished my root canal treatment, Yeah...but have to go back for check up next two weeks. Well, that's fine,as long as i am have a healthy teeth then this is fine, hahaaaa.........

Arghh....Auditor coming for audit today....I hate it..fussy auditor, always want this want that, i really can't stand them...theey will be at my compaany auditing for two weeks, Sigh, sigh....i will be very busy for coming two weeks...

Exams next week , i've a bit stress leh, not a bit yah....is really strezzzzz....huhhuh..gotta study study hard for next week exams. Well, i will be on leave from wedn to friday for my IELTS exams. Do really hope can score well at this exams. Pls pray for me, guys!!!!

I HATE EXTRACTION

2005-09-16T09:13:00.000+08:00

I extremely hate extraction. It's bloody painful and i utterly suffered. I can't endure anymore. oMG I Couldn't sleep over the night and my wound keep bleeding. *sob sob* it's really soreness. ( Can't eat and can't talk, only can drink milk, oats and fruits juice..)
I been visiting my dentist so many times and extracted my 4 wisdom teeth. I hate it...
first - Did filling.
Second - filling again and washing my teeth
Third - Exractions for two wisdom teeth.
Four - First step of root canal treatment.
five - Extractions for another two wisdom teeth.
Next time should be doing my second step of the root canal treatment and thought should be done everything after that. I spent lotsa money on my teeth..Arghh...anyway if it can let me have a healthy teeth and gums i think it's worth.

Anyway i do hope u guys can pray for me that i can recover faster. ( I already missed three cell and today i gonna miss it again ...Arghhhhhhhh.........sigh sigh sigh )

************ A painful and suffered at the moment *************

Is today my 21st birthday ??

2005-09-13T01:09:00.000+08:00

Is today my 21st Birthday ?
Is today a special day for me ??
What is it about a 21st birthday ???
Is 21st birthday a BIG birthday in my life ????
Any birthday WISH???

YESSSSS.....today is your 21st birthday.
I dun think so this is a special day for me..
21st birthday....is all about me turning to Adult. I'm one year older:((((
NOPEEEEEE.............This is NOPE............ :((((((
Birthday WIsh ?? I don't wish have lotsa ppl remember my birthday but i do wish my parents will remember, it's enough for me if they can remember it .... even though it's just a call to wish me happy birthday....IT"S ENOUGH FOR ME. But.............they will never ever remember my BIRTHDAY......NEVER NEVER ..... ( SOB SOB** )
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ok people this is my mood in the morning time. ..sound like so gloomy, right?

Okay, actually have a good talk with Tweety bird ( my ex-classmate ) throughout the Skype yesterday night, and we talked about all the sweet memories tat we had at high school. It definetely was the most sweet memories in my pass twenty years. Hahahaa...okay she was the first person who wish me " Happy birthday" though it was in advance but still have to " THanks' her.
Well, following by the sms for those who wish me "Happy birthday "
Guessssss....who was the first person who sms and send the regards for me?????
Hahahaha......IT WERE :

1.BOON -( while i am talking with tweety bird at skype ) suddenly my msg ring .
Happy birthday to u ... Happy Birthday to U... Happy Birthday to u....Happy birthday to U !
( He is a brother who always wanna take care of me and he is a very nice brother as well, even though this msg is in advance but " THANK YOU Brother" )
I already slept and u guys ( following three person ) actually purposely choose this timing to send the msg for me (12th Sep 2005 @ 12am ) Guess who was the winner get the first place to send the msg for me??????????? hahaa it was:
2.Cikgu Huang- Happy Birthday, Sheng Ri Kuai Le.....:))) hehehe.
( SHe was my ex-class teacher. she is a very responsible teacher, always try her best to be a good teacher. Unfortunately, she is teaching malay and for us who studied at the YCHS before were not really interesting in malay and our malay is like #*%@!@(*)#*^$^$ , but i still pass my malay at my UEC ....heheheeeeee. THough is becuase of her so i juz study hard and pass it.. She always like to bring us travel around and shopping, watch movie, eating ,.....haha u are the best , I LOVE u .....yeah...muak muak muak )
3.Eng Peng- ******** Make a wish ******** Blow Candle********** HAPPY BIRTHDAY ***********
( Uh huh .......u are my best friend and even though we're lossing contact for two year but u won't forget to drop me a msg on my birthday .....THANKS LOT LOT friends....study hard at KL yah ????????? NExt time can bring me along to the country that i keen to go ... heheee. )
4.Leonard- Yo....Happy birthday .....
( I'm not really know u well but yet u keep smsing me ....okay okay, a person that i only know he is called " Leonard " and never seen him before. BTw THaNKS yah )
Just step into the office in the early morning @ 8pm ( very quiet as havent on the radio yet ), suddenly msg ring and i opened it (the following two person ) :
5.Wee Leng- ( sound of notify ) Hi There jamsine, happy birthday to u ! ( a small cake's picture )
( U're the sister that i always wanna take care of but at the end is she take care of me .. hehe. She is my church's sister and my housemate as well. she has no temper but is an introvert girl, in my heart always is a nice nice girl.... I am sure God will bless nice and good girl and u are the one. hahah...we always go out together , watch movie, swimming, jogging, play ball, and cooking together as well,...YESSSSS, i like to eat the foods that u cooked oneeee.............THANKS my dereast sister !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )
6. Diana - Happy birthday , hope all of your dream can come true..
( I didn't expect that u will send the regards for me... SHE iS my pretty sister...in my heart, u are really pretty and always buy alot of thing for us and always like to nag nag nag when i calling you ( How are you? how's your teeth? remember to drink lotsa water and don't sleep too late everyday, pls to take care yourself) hahahaha....lke mummy ,....but really utterly touched and even though i didn't receive the regards from daddy and mummy but u bring back the joy and everything...at least u still there when i need a shoulder to cry ...THANKS AH JIEEEE..........)
LUnch time yeah..I'm having my lunch ( eating the INDO noodles ) with my colleague at pantry, while i'm smsing with my friend and i received this sms, i though is my friend but i had a wrongly guessed, he was :
7.Sean - YO jasmine. Happy birthday and may you grow wiser each day !
( Thank U Sean,....hahah actually i didn't expect that he will send me the regards as well. Get a surprise when received the sms,...haha.. erhmm...... He is a good brother also , recently juz reliaze, heheeh... anyway thanks lah...:)))))
Doing my work until half way :
8. Qiao Yun- Happy birthday.. Wah hong kong disneyland got same birthday with u, haha...
( Erhmm....really? HK disneyland have the same birthday with me ???? so Coincident ??//heeemmm....i though she already forget my birthday... even though we're living at the same country..sad to say we only meet up once a year. QY is my best friend at YCHS. we know each other through competition to Kuang Rou ..haha i was in the volleyballl team and she was in the table tennis team..because we queued at the back of the queue, start from that day....we have lotsa topic to talk ...can't finish ...but now no more topic to talk liao...environment changed everythings....heheeheh ok ok , luckily u are not forgetting my birthday..hehe )
On the way going to "Q&M dental surgery and going to do the root canal treatment for my tooth )
9. Nee - Halo ! THis is nee who sending birthday greetings to you. Hope you have a great 21st birthday !!
( Wow...i am so happy when i received this sms, Nee... u sending me the msg from AUS.. How are u there, Nee? Always MISSSS you....
Nee is my another ex-classmate and we always studying and playing together when we at YCHS , she help me a lot on my studies and she is a very strong, very persistence, very pretty gal and she is studying the same Uni with genes as well., so coincident !!!! OK Nee, i'm going to save lotsa money and will be going to Aus to visit you next year, k ! Take care and thanks for the regardsssss..i do appreciate this friendship :))))
Came back from dental surgery and having the dinner with WL, while i received this :
10. Joel - Heys Jas, Feeling numbness ? Feeling a painful sensation? Being not able 2 eat for next few hours? I guess this is the most miserable birthday....Anyway hope u dun feel too miserable and....HAve a happy Birthday.. =j
( U are wrong....hahaha.i still can eat, this is only the first stage for my tooth's root canal treatment...hehehe i am actually enjoyed the dinner with WL loh. heeee hehee :)))))
A journey through under pacific ? THis little boy also another boy that i always wanna watch up...haha...HE is an introvert guy as well, he like Ice skating,rollerblading, Bitter chocolate, gummies but dislike studying : (( Three word to describe him = One Boring guy...haha no lah, is one NICE guy . He always like to help ppl and very talent in design yo, next time can look for him if i have no notion with designation ..hhhuhhhh :))
After having dinner, sitting in front of the laptop and was thinking to blog ;
11. Joey- Hey, jasmine, happy birthday ya...sorry that wish u so late cos i have been busy for a whole day....
( You;re not late and it was only 10.29pm ...hahaa and you're the last person who sent the birthday regards for me .
Okay, Joey is my hometown's friend and we been attending the same church. She is a very sweet gal and studying at SP right now.... Thank for the regardssssss )

This was the FIRST celebration at my company :

I went to downstair and pass the chq to vendor. Met vivian in the lift .
( Vivian, joyce and christina are the colleague from IT dep and May is same with me from Finance. We're always having the lunch together )
Vivian : hey Jasmine, are you going back to Finance ? It have something to eat at my department?
Me : what ?
(I'm holding lotsa documents )
Vivian : Erhmm....are u going to put all those documents back to Finance fist ?
ME : yeah...
Vivian : Oh okay...then after that u come to my department, ok ?
Me : Ookay .
( On the way back to Finance, met May and My accountant at the outside of Finance. Then my accountant pass me lotsa chq and ask me get the president signature done for HIM ...)
May : Hey Jasmine, i am looking for you .
Me : U looking for me ? what'z up ?
May : Come, let's go to MIS dept as there have something to eat .
Me : Okay
( Went to MIS with May and still holding the former documents plus my accountant's documents..
Step in the MIS and walked forward to the christina's desk and i saw a cake on her table ..)
Joyce, Vivian, christina and May sang the song : " Happy birthday to u, happy birthday to u , happpy birthday to u , happy birthday to u ......."
I was utterly touched by what have thier done for me ! It was really sweet and i do appreciate it ....
We took lotsa pic for that as well....... ( will post the pic once i get it from vivian )
ME : FIrst of all, i wanted to thank you : Joyce, vivian , christian and May for celebrating the birthday for me . THANK YOU VERY MUCH GUYS>......muak muak muak

The SECOND celebration at home :

I'm just coming back from dental surgery and i reliaze that Wee leng was at home. SHE didn't go to the YA dinner....(feel so weird )

Me : ( opening the door ) Why u didn't go to the YA dinner ? why u still at home ? WHY WHY WHY ?
( Feel so guity as i know that is because of me so she choose not to go for the dinner )
WL : ( Iroining the clothe ) I don't know ?
Me : You don't know? Tell me why u never go to the dinner ?
WL : Ai ya...u go to bathe first , later i will tell you.
Me : Okay loh........
( Still dun wanna give up, after taking the change and opened her door again ...... )
Me : heeennnnnnnnn.......tell me lah, why u never go to the YA dinner , i want to know the answer now. ( i beg her to tell me ) , tell me lah, tell me lah
WL : Haiya...faster faster go go go , go to bathe.
Me : ( No choice ) ......okay okay, tell me when i finishing my shower.

Ater finishing my shower, came out from the bath from and went in to my bedroom. I saw a small, pretty and tasty cake put on my table ...... and at this moment :
WL : " Happy birthday to u, happy birthday to u , happpy birthday to u , happy birthday to u ......."
Me : Oh man, u purposely choose not going for the dinner is really becuase wanna celebrate the birthday for me.....( tear almost wanna drop and feeling really really happy )

U're always like to use this way to take care of me and protect me and you;re the angel that God sent for me since i moved in living together with you. We share the happiness and sadness together. I will treasure this friendship forever and ever ( I will still hold it until we go to heaven ) . muak muak muak LOVE u sister !!!
Thanks you God for giving such a wonderful celebration. Although it's not really much ppl to celebrate for me but God , it's enough , really enough. You let me to reliase that the meaning of the life ...........
You let me learn to be stronger when i get one yr older. THank you God, thanks for giving me a BLEssED birthday. YESSSSSSS.....I LOVE U FOREVER - GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay , okay, i think i'm blogging too much already and my 21st birthday is already over and i'm now feeing very sleepy. oK guys, i'm going to sleep now and i will post the picture tomorrow. Good night and GOD BLeSS you all..

I hate This Feeling

2005-09-06T18:46:00.000+08:00

Just came back from "My dentist" clinic. I extracted two wisdom teeth. kinda painful and keep bleeding now............ but still ok lah, i'm very hungry now as i only taken bread and wit bix for my lunch. After taking out two wisdom teeth, i was kinda tired and exhausted. This is the thrid time i went to tat clinic. First two times was did my filling and teeth whitening.Frankly speaking, My teeth have been really bad. So the next visit is to do my root canal treatment.

The dentist who in-charge of me is a very friendly,polite and pretty lady.Her name is DR. Joyslyn
She is graduated from Melbourn and is a dental surgeon as well. In my life, i guess go to visit dentist is the very scary and difficult things as i had an bad experience when i was very young so i am kinda hate to visit dentist.

I felt very lost and very sadly now, i dun know why i have this kinda feeling and i hate this feeling. I guess i feel sad is because my parents are not around with me. Everytime, when i go to see dentist they definetely will accompany me. But this time is different...very different.
Haiz....i felt a bit sad for my life.

The important of the patient's mental attitude towards their treatment

2005-09-04T15:45:00.000+08:00

Ok This is today topic and i am now preparing for this topic for my IELTS exams. Here is the point of view of mine. Doean't know how u guys think about it.

A wide range of medical treatment is availiable today. Patients may wonder which will be the most effective and whether their own mental attitude to the type of treatment might effect it's success.

Many people visit their doctor or go to hospital with complete trust in the expert care offered by conventional services, However, some of people do not get a satisfactory result. For example, the drugs they are prescribed may have unpleasant side effect. Their initial positive attitude towards thier treatment does them little good.

Similary, those patients who choose alternative treatment over traditional medicine may find themselves disillusioned. Less rigorous qualification standards among alternative practitioners may mean that some healer give ineffective and damaging advice, The result, again is that a patient who entered treatment with confident may leaves that treatment disillusioned.

On the other hand, patient may try a style treatment with some sceptisicm, A person used to conventional medicine and drugs may be suspicious of treatments based on diet and lifestyle changes. Yet, if they follow this programs, they may in fact notice the improvement of their conditions. Equally. a person opppsed to conventional medicine may have an accident and saved by effective treatment of the conventional emergency services.

In conclusion, it appears that the mental attitude of the patients is not most significant factor in determining the outcome of the treatment. Patients who entered treatment confidently may leave disillisoned while those who begin treatment sceptical of the results may find themselves surprised with what they have gained, Patients should have the advantages which each style of care can offer.

i LOVE U - JSDA

2005-09-03T11:37:00.000+08:00

Today was a wonderful sabbath for me. As usual, worship God and We EP150 joined worship team today as well. Well, today have a group of Korean ppl came to my church...and our Pastor not around today as He went to Thai for the internet envengelism..so the preacher is Pastor Danson and have another person did the translation for those Korean ppl...
After lunch, our Youth have a prayer tour to primary, sec and JC to pray for those student who are sitting for thier PSLE, O & A level, Wah...first time been to some many school. We went to Fu Hwa & Rulang primary school, then we went to San yu, AJC, Hwa Chong, YJC and alot alot lah...
It's a good tour and pray that those ppl who are going to sit for their exams and pass it and try all their best as well. ERhmm.....talking about exams, Hope the ppl also can pray for me, I"M having my IELTS this month end and I am kinda stress up as exam around the corner. but no worry, pray to God and ask for HIS guidance and wisdom, i believe He will provide me and delivery me, YES HE WILL.

Ok , after the prayer tour, we r having the social games at night, It's relly fun man....i enjoyed it. not only me lah, i guess the ppl who r joinig this games also enjoyed it..;-) We played the captain ball, I like CAPTAIN BALL...,, really like crazy to playing the ball and i sweating alot, ( like bathe ) hahaaaa,,,,,oh yah, Really glad that some of the youth also brought their friends joined, like Cara brought Zoe to joined it...really Glad.
YES, I like MY CHURCH...it's been bringing lotsa JOY for me . YES, u r the one that bought me lotsa joy....I like u JURONG SEVENTHDAY ADVENTIST CHURCH.

2005-08-30T21:47:00.000+08:00

Hi all,

This is the link for the Faith's costume b'dy party :

http://www.flickr.com/photos/faithtoh/sets/834419/

Pls do feel free to take a look yo..lotsa nice nice pictures inside =P

Jas

2005-08-28T18:30:00.000+08:00

this is woddy...hahah

2005-08-28T18:29:00.000+08:00

opps...the killer so horrible .

2005-08-28T18:27:00.000+08:00

Downloaded the pic from Ariel's blog This is me with vitorian wedding gown...i am damn hot

2005-08-28T17:58:00.000+08:00

Went to Faith's costume birthday yesterday..It was her 30th birthday...hahaa..it's damn fun man, i really enjoyed it. Well, it's the first time i joined costume party, really really fun...yeah. Guess what i wore yesterday? Hahahaaa...i wore the Vitorian gown..it's damn hot wearing this kinda gown and i can't imagine in former time's ladies can endure to wear this kinda gown...oh man terrible.... But now i can understand why majority ladies don't like to wear wedding gown : Because it's damn hot man...
Lotsa ppl turned up with thier costume as well...wow... Damn Cool. I don't know how to decribe the party yesterday..i only know it's really HAPPY HAPPY, FUN FUN FUN...YEAH
I can't wait for the picture....

2005-08-25T20:06:00.000+08:00

uh huh...quiet sometime never blog liao. Well, not because i am lazy to blog...is because so much things happened last few weeks. My life had been up and down, up and down ... and last few weeks was really bad. But now, can't say all the problems have been solved but it can said that God have been changing my heart bit by bit. THanK you GOD....i love you LORD.
huhhh....i am now feeling better, I really thank God give me such a good brother. last sunday after came back from JJ's birthday and pricilia's farewell dinner. Something was going wrong, make me felt very down..suddenly dun know what to do. But after that i met Boon at MSN and chat with him for a while. I would say that he is a very nice brother. Then on the next early morning, he drop me a sms to encourage me, at that moment i utterly touched by that sms and tear drop as well. i know he is a brother who always wanna take care of me. I am really happy that i have this kinda of brother.But too bad..he only can be my brother.:(( sigh sigh... anyway ' Thank you Brother , thousands of thanksssssssss :)))))))))

One lesson that i learnt from last few weeks is : TRust in HIM entirely. Don't give up easily.
we dun know all the tests God will give us but we know that God won't give us the tests are beyond our abilities. In my life, i've noticed that God tests my FAITH through problems, tests my HOPE by how I handle possessions and tests my LOVE through people.

Yesterday was very fun. Sean, Jeff and i went to "NO 1 NO 1 costume shop" to find the costume for Faith's birthday. I met sean at lavender mrt station around 645pm then we went to textile centre to meet Jeff. Ok, the shop close on 8pm so after meeting with them we quickly walk to the shop.
Woah....so big the shop(not really big lah but over my imagination loh ) and lotsa costumes too. we reach there about 7.20pm.At first, we really dun know what to do as too many variety..we shop about half an hour but stil get nothing. After that, when i walked out to the stage, i saw jeff wore the costume with... uh huh ( can't tell) think we have to be very mysterious about this hheehe ;)))) . oh man, sean also got the custome. Ok fine, i think i should get sth nice one, so i choose one also..wah...so funny. after wearing the costume, we keep laughing each other.The people who are working at there help to deco also. Very fun..it was really brighten up my day. erhmm...the costume for rental at there quite expensive though..$60 for each costume and only can wear one night.After that, we went to have our dinner at the foodcourt centre(somewhere nearby textile centre).arghh..too bad, all are non-vegetarian stalls..i can't eat but i felt very hungry..i have no choice so only drank the 100plus..:((( hmmm...i am now wondering what kinda of the costume are the rest wearing on saturday. It's going to be very fun. LOOKing Forward to the COSTUME PARTY..yeah yeah yeah :))))

2005-08-16T19:21:00.000+08:00

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

2005-08-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

Monday blue, blue blue n blur blur blur ...I have been very busy for today. Busy busy busy...morning reach at office, i cleared 12 millions of my G/L account..hahaha...from 106 millions to 94 millions..feel better. But after lunch, back to my desk and open the a/c..wahhhhh..........my godness, it rose to 128 million..why why why??? Then received the email from Topsearch at Macau. Pls pls don't give me pressure lah..dun keep chasing the payment from me...i tried my best already. Since last time the mistake, 7 millions. I already told myself to be careful liao lah...

Sigh sigh sigh...my accountant bluff me.He said wanna hire for me a assistant and he did it. We've been discussing the jobscope for that assistant but at the end, she is doing another stuff....sigh!! I really dun like him...say and act always is different. What to do? Who ask him is my accountant. Anyway, i have to study study study hard for my upcoming exam.(Reading, listening, writting and speaking){sigh...strezz strezz strezzzzzzzzzz}otherwise i can't achive my goal. Yepppppp...Gambatee, Jazz, dun give up as God will give me strength and wisdom. He will...i believe.

2005-08-14T14:59:00.000+08:00

2005-08-14T13:52:00.000+08:00

Just came back from the jumble sales.erhm...felt very tired as yesterday i didn't have a good sleep. Dont know why also..anyway, today's jumble sales quite okay lah, our Jurong church have few stalls to sell all the stuff. then after tat just nice Boon wanna come to jurong so we share the cab back to jurong together. Reach at home WL still havent come back , anyway i bought lotsa foods for her already loh....

Haiz...why i am so busy everyday. Really really feel so tired. When can i finshed this kinda life? Well, die loh..then no need to bear with all the burden and pressures...hehehe..good idea. blah blah blah...so pessimistic. Sigh sigh sigh.... Anyway, i think i better go and look for a bf then marry to him so need to work liao loh..heheheheeee...bullshit. so busy where got time to look for a guy that really can fullfill all of my requirement. Well, that guy tat i like no need too handsome lah but can;t too ugly also. Must be balance..not too handsome and not too ugly ...heheeee :) o yah..he must be very sporty and very active also, i can't stand spend time together with the quiet ppl//...haha dun you think so it's so boring to spend time together with quiet ppl..ask one question then answer one question..Damn bored man..

Ok ok ppl, Youth Alive will be held at my Church - Jurong Seventhday Adventist ( at social hall) @19th-20th <7.30pm-8.30pm> and the Topic is "CAN ANYONE HEAR ME"/ Pls do feel free to join yoo..

2005-08-10T19:01:00.000+08:00

Feel so painful with my life. ppl like to say : No pains, no gains, No gains without pains. It's actually very true yet i feel very pain without any gains. I've put all of my effort and tried live hard for pursuing my goal....
I hate singapore's life ( busy busy busy ). Before coming here, think the life at here maybe better than Malaysia, It actually is better than malaysia but i dun like as too busy. I almost going to crazy...I can't take it for this kinda life...i want to scream...yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
I feel weird nowadays as lotsa childhood's memories keep appearing inside my mind. It was so wonderful and happy. All the memories... a happiness family picture ( my dad, my mom, my two brothers and my sister). When i was very young, my dad always bring us go travelling, we have been lotsa places. Though tHat's the only sweet memories in my mind. ...but now is really different from the past, Everythings have changed ! i am no more longer live together with them... we have been seperated for three years. NO no ,,,not only three years....since u went overseas for working,,it has been many many years..i cant remember it and also don't wanna remember. one day for me means one year..u know how much that i missing u and u know how much that i worried u. not only me but mom have the same feeling with me. Anyway, u already back now but i already left...i only can miss u at here. I wanted go back to visit yet lotsa stuff sucked me.....Feel so sorry and upset about it. Every time, after the conversation throughout the phone, my tear will naturally drop down.. i dont know why and also can't explain that feeling.
I will pray for you all everyday without cease.... MISS you so much ..my Dad & mum.

2005-08-09T20:22:00.000+08:00

Nic's dog !

2005-08-09T14:44:00.000+08:00

Can u recognise who is in the pic?

2005-08-09T14:42:00.000+08:00

My dream HOUSE !!

2005-08-09T14:41:00.000+08:00

look so familiar with this pciture?

2005-08-06T10:29:00.000+08:00

The Dark Horizon.
Unvisited and unseen for years....
It will randomly appear...
Out of nowhere,
Until now,
The mysterious background of this horizon remains untold.

2005-08-02T19:39:00.000+08:00

I m depressed, i am tired, I am discouraged, i am exhausted. With a downcast eyes and a painful heart. I ivariably ponder myself.Maintaining my flowAs this long gloomy day goes,
Wondering;
Why I feel this way?To be honest I really can't illustrate my dismay,
Clouds I see, trees with no leaves.The atmosphere I feel, but everything seems Unreal. I been living hard for pursuing what i want in my life. But it doesn't turn out well,.Normal action, light refraction.Dissatisfaction with no distraction, i wander through the unsteady flow. Rights of passage come and go. Vacant town, except I alone . Vacant yard, except a stone and the stone was thrown by a passerby which hit me right above my eye. Scattered pictures of no one i know
I have a garden that will not grow and i have a dream that will not come true. Thinking about nothing that would not even matter. My goals are set on the last rung of life's ladder
Try and try, i just can't climb. By and by,i just pass time.Life is tough, Extremely low standard of living : Solitary, speechless Thanksgiving I have been devitalized, my possessions are demonetized . Now i've realized why i've been ostracized...

2005-07-28T23:43:00.000+08:00

I'm loneliness forever

2005-07-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

Loneliness

2005-07-28T23:40:00.000+08:00

LOST..

2005-07-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

Thoughts that linger in my mind ... Haunting me and misleading me ... My mind is full of unprocessed images ... Which seem so true ... yet so hard for me to accept ..

My heart races ... My head grows feverish ... My body shivers with agony ... Sleep is so far away ... Dreams I have not seen ... But they come still in random arbital flashes ... One is someone I care for , the other someone I stand for ... Decision that I have to make ... aches me from within ... My expressions inapt to calm me ... My feelings burn and implodes me ... Everything swirls around me as nothing can satiate me ... Never have I felt like this before ... Im so lost ... so confused ...

I cant seem to remember ... the times I could just let it go ... Cause right now when it comes back , It just seems to stay on forever ... With passion I wish I can release ... With hope I wish it will fulfill .. With love I wish I can call it ... But I will never know what it is ... A wall before me ... another facade facing me ... A fabrication of my mind ... Something I cant seem to remove ... And Im encaged within it ..

Now when I think about it ... When I want to act upon it ... Sadly it will pass me by .. Still with little time around me ... I wish I can spend it .. Close to my heart something I admit ... But permission not of mine to take ... With choices not of mine to make ... And another standing before me ... As a shadow I can only see ... The happenings before me ... Im so far away ... from both I can relate ... Im nothing in comparison ... With nothing I can reason ... I cant give anything right now ... Because Im empty within my shell ... I wish I have a share of it ... Still I think I have to step back a bit ...

My mind is tormenting me ... Agony so deep ... Pain supersede ....I Guess I will just let it go ... Even though of the future I will not know ... Anyway when all things pass ... Im quite sure I will still last .. As I know nothing will last forever ... Except that " Im loneliness forever ... "

2005-07-25T20:24:00.000+08:00

I feel very depressed and stress today. Morning reaching at the office...a whole batch of the invoices ( like the mountain as high) put on my table. And my G/L account's amount getting higher and higher. Oh my godness, when am i going to finish all these heavy work. i feel like no motivation to work. Not only no motivation but also feel very weak today. Feel depressed not because of the heavy work , my studies actually also is part of the reason to influence my day. I am actually very angry myself as untimately i reliase that i am the person doesn't know schedule the time-table properly. I always told myself, time management is very important and i gotta schedule my time table properly but at the end is everything mess up together. Don't even know what am i doing? I almost wanna cry out and scream, i feel helpless. i pray for God to grant me strength and show me clearly the way that He wanna me to go, I am really hope to secure the course that i wish to study one. So i told myself : From today onwards i gotta cut down all the activities and study hard.

2005-07-24T22:55:00.000+08:00

huh...another one? is it same with the previous one?

2005-07-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

Who's foot?

2005-07-24T22:44:00.000+08:00

All the kids ...can u find me in the pic?

2005-07-24T22:43:00.000+08:00

i was in the jungle..

2005-07-24T22:42:00.000+08:00

I like the nature,,

2005-07-24T22:41:00.000+08:00

Nepenthes Mirabilis

2005-07-24T22:38:00.000+08:00

what am i looking for?

2005-07-24T22:36:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah..become butterfly

2005-07-24T22:35:00.000+08:00

caterpillar

2005-07-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

So unique

2005-07-24T22:30:00.000+08:00

tazen...haha

2005-07-24T22:25:00.000+08:00

Rubber's seed

2005-07-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

curly leaves.. think is lack of nutrition

2005-07-24T21:29:00.000+08:00

My notebook detected virus..i felt very helpless and panic as my collague want to send some important file for me. But my email doesn't work.Oh my godness, what should i do? haiz...luckily i ask for help from Jeff and he gave me a website to download free anti virus software so think it help me to kill the virus from my notebook.

I went to MacRichee Resevior with our church adventurer & Pathfinder. Well, first time went out with the kids. IT was very fun and excited. The kids was so cute and they are very curious with everythings that they never watch it before. Think this is a good experience for them. Anyway, after the MacRichee trip, wee leng and me went to Sentosa for Gary's birthday celebration. The youths joined for the celebration too. If i am not wrong, think this is the thrid time that i went to Sentosa. ( I mean since i came to sg after the high school) Well, i am not that like Sentosa, dun ask me why. I myself also dun know why..hahaa..i more prefer East Coast. Anyway, great to see the youth and the Young Adult are enjoyed the celebration.

Carrot, Egg or Coffee

2005-07-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

Today i read an article and it inspired me and teach me how to handle well when i face the adversity. I always complain about my life ...i dun think i have a very good life and always think tat life is very hard for me. i always feel tired of fighting and struglling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Well, the article is start from a young ladies. One day she is complaining her life to her mother. then her mother took her to the kicthen. Her mum filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first, she placed carrots, second, she placed eggs, and the last she placed ground coffee bean. In about twenty minutes her mum turned off the burners and took out the carrot, egg and ladled the coffee and placed them into the individual bowl.

After that she turning to her daughter and asked her " Tell me, what do u see?" then her daugther replied : " Carrot, egg and coffee."
Her mom brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrot. The daughter noticed that the carrot was soft. Then her mom asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.Finally her mom asked the daughter to slip the coffee. The daughter smile as she tasted its rich aroma.
Her mom explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity ....boiling water. Each reacted differently.

1) The carrot went in strong, hard and inrelenting, However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and becaome weak.
Are you the carrot? Seems strong, but with pain and adversity? Do u wilt and become soft and lose all the strength and faith.

2) The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
Are u the egg? Starts with a malleable heart, but change with the heat? Did u have a fluid spirit? After a death, a break-up, a financial hardship or some other trial, are u become hardened and stiff? Or does ur shell look the same, inside stil feel bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

3) The ground coffee bean were unique.After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
Or are u like the coffee bean? The bean actually changed the hot water,( every circumstance that brings the pain) when the water get hot, it relased the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, u get better and change the situation around you.

Well, at these moment, i have stopped thinking about my work and everything that i worried. I have think about it. Which one that i belong to ? When the adverstiy knock on my door, how do i respond? Am i a carrot, egg or coffee bean? Erhmm.....is a very good question to think about it now.
So are u a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? How do u handle adversity?

2005-07-17T20:42:00.001+08:00

2005-07-17T20:42:00.000+08:00

christianity

2005-07-17T20:41:00.000+08:00

Rome Catholic some things left behind by the deceased.

2005-07-17T20:38:00.001+08:00

That's what we saw in that museum..

2005-07-17T20:38:00.000+08:00

hehe...who;s that behind me one?

2005-07-17T20:37:00.000+08:00

oh after that we went to Asian Civilisations Museum

2005-07-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

ahhaha...see we so happy/..

2005-07-17T20:35:00.000+08:00

Wee Leng and ME...after the show we went to Esplanade to walk walk

2005-07-17T20:26:00.000+08:00

Fantastic Four...i like the invisible ladies. she is so pretty

Fantastic Four

2005-07-17T20:14:00.000+08:00

Today we guys was planning for the Tree top walk but it was raining heavily in the early morning so we cancelled it. Feel so sad and disappointed. Why? I keep questioning God, why today? Anyway, it already over. Though we can;t make it for the Tree Top walk , i still hanging out with WL and her friend. We went to watch a show - "Fantastic Four ".

With lots of Super hero action and definitely dazzling special effects ...
Ok the plot starts basically with the introduction of the main 5 protagonists of the story ... ( Basically within the 1st 10min you would have seen the Fantastic 4 to-bes and their villian Dr Doom to-be too ) .. With Richards ( Mr Fantastic ) attempting to clinch a business deal with Victor ( Dr Doom ) who is a multi-millionaire and at the same time reaching for a break-through in science which may aid the medical industry and in turn help mankind ... Not too slowly the scenes went hopping around and all the 5 protagonists ended up in a space-base to observe this break-through but ended up getting genetically altered instead due to the unpredictability of some natural occurances ... From here , emerge the Fantastic powers of the Fantastic 4 and the verminous invincibility of their ultimate nemesis Dr Doom ... The story then shifts to the many challenges they face containing and learning about their powers and the final show-down between the heros and their villian ...

It has many pretty funny scenes , some thoughtful quotes and many very beautiful and eye-catching special effects even when the plot isnt very well developed ... Thus in the end , many find this movie a little let down considering all the other more entertaining predecessors ..
Well, personally i would say that this show was not bad...i like the ladies who is in that show..she is extremely pretty ..wish i can as pretty as like her ...hee hee

2005-07-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

what we guys doing there???

2005-07-16T22:53:00.001+08:00

We're so happy...

2005-07-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

she is so happy ...

2005-07-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

See, caren make a wish ! What is her wish leh???

Caren's birthday.

2005-07-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

We celebrated Caren's birthday at Agness' place today. Actually her birthday is fall in Monday, Unfortunately it is a weekday and all of us have to work so we celebrate for her in advance loh.... Ehmm....it was not a big party , that's only 8 person joined it. Well, even though it was not a big group party but i felt very happy today...Haahaa...first of all, i have to say a big " THanks" for Agnes as she prepared all the vegetarian food for all of us. I like the dessert that she made one..(green bean mixed wif corn soup ) very nice! WL and me get the birthday cake for Caren and Tony n his wife bought the Durian. Wah...kind of strong smelly..ehee i dun like ! Erhm,,,tooday have a good chat with u guys, hahaa...Don,is the one who answer alot of qns.. ppl like to interview him..ask him a lotsa qns and joke with him....heee hee
Okay okay , after the dinner we sang a birthday song for Caren and watching the show after it. Oh well, tremendous, rojeli hun. hahahaa... anyway, i hope that today was a great day for Caren.
Happy Birthay Caren , may all your dream come true !

Well, Birthday......!!! Haiz..it was abit sad when this word come to my mind.....actaully the thing was happened few years ago, i had a happy memory wif my birthday, this memory is gonna keep inside my mind forever and ever as i will never forget it.... I really hope it will happend again but...it's impossible as u already left...i dun know whether u're still in Japan ?? But
i will pray for u whenever u are and whatever u do...

2005-07-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

my sis and her bf ...

2005-07-11T22:51:00.000+08:00

hehe...see what am i doing? I went to game zone with my sis and her bf ....we played the racing car ...!!

2005-07-11T22:49:00.000+08:00

Opps... i m eating the " Fu zhou Bing " . Yummy, This is a very famous cookies at my hometown..i missed you " Fu Zhou Bing"

2005-07-11T22:46:00.000+08:00

so sweet the coconut's drink..hehe !

2005-07-11T22:44:00.000+08:00

Danga Bay